Saturday, 24 December 2011

Smiles (22.11.11)

Yes you with a beautiful smile.
How did you slip into my life?
I didn't see you coming.

My heart warms up.
The subtle curve of your smile.
Dreamy and lush.
The missing puzzle that fits.
Our smiles conjoined as they touch,
Inhale the breath of life.

No don't look at me too much.
I feel afraid,
That I may lose my smile.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Dreams (Nina.S 20.11.11)

My dreams are my wishes,
I can achieve but can you?
External obstacles in the way,
Allows you to be ruled.

Are you a man or a coward?
To be conquered by another.
Emotional blackmail and more,
Sickens and makes you weak.

You washed your hands on me,
The door slammed.
To hear no more is harsh,
Did you really love me?

Questions and confusion,
My mind is in a spin.
You were a whirl wind in my life,
And then you suddenly vanish.

Can be a reality.
But you were ruthless
And have shattered my belief.

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Love My Life (Nina.S 19.11.11)

The birth of a daughter!
Hopes and dreams for her future.
Comfort and warmth,
All the love in the world.

First love becomes my enemy,
Second love becomes my trusted friend,
Third love, my soulmate and my lover.
But now I am all alone.

Trust is impossible,
How can I believe what is true anymore?
Wish I was a child again, 
Looking through coloured glass.

The wound is so deep,
I could drown myself inside.
My life is suppose to be precious,
Who are you to destroy me?

My mind, body and soul,
The mind is stagnant.
The body is tired,
The soul has died.

I love my life!

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

The Black Book That's Blue...: Betrayal of Pakhtun (Nina.S 21.09.11)

The Black Book That's Blue...: Betrayal of Pakhtun (Nina.S 21.09.11): So sweet as a ripe fruit from the trees, Tempting and delicious. Too high up as I try to reach, The hidden poison is treacherous. An old ...

Betrayal of a Pakhtun (Nina.S 21.09.11)

So sweet as a ripe fruit from the trees,
Tempting and delicious.
Too high up as I try to reach,
The hidden poison is treacherous.

An old man so kind and gentle.
His warm face is welcoming.
Just want to listen to his mind.
But his thoughts are so damning.

The love of my life is a Pakhtun,
His heart is pure as gold.
Nothing can ever change this,
Don't believe it so am I told.

The betrayal came suddenly,
He didn't even warn me.
Breaking my heart lovingly,
This I didn't want to believe.

The twist of a knife is so sharp,
Don't hurt me please don't.
The painful beat of my heart,
Please, please don't let go.

The drought in my eyes,
No more tears streaming.
My mouth is so dry,
Surely I must be dreaming.

My face is so sore ,
From the salty tear drops.
The residue fixed in the pores,
Leaving a trail of hopes.

Don't look away!
For this is the last time we meet.
How can I make you sway?
It's me your love as I try to plead.

Nothing can change your mind,
Left for vultures to attack.
I must have been so blind,
To think you loved me as much.

Something inside me has collapsed,
Am exhausted and drained.
Breathing has become a real task,
God haven't I endured enough pain.

I just want to be loved,
Why is it so hard to keep.
Why did you give up?
My feelings are true and so deep.

An abundance of love and care,
So easily fooled am I.
The life we were going to share,
And now I just want to die!

Saturday, 27 August 2011

Poets United: Classic Poetry - "Friend..." by Jalal ad-Dīn ...

Poets United: Classic Poetry - "Friend..." by Jalal ad-Dīn ...: Jalal ad-Dīn Muhammad Rumi 1207 – 1273
Friend, our closeness is this. Anywhere you put your foot feel me in the firmness under you.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

The Power of Silence (Nina.S 18.08.11)

So resonant that the dead awakens.
Every sense is punctured,
The hollowness allowing it to echo.

Spreading like the killer plague,
Don't come close to me.
Contagious and dangerous,
Will leave me desolate.

The silence is stagnant,
Feeling smothered to my head to my toes.
The breath of life is creeping,
Though not knowing will kill me first.

It cannot touch me,
Though deadly as it comes.
Staring at me from every direction,
Swallowing me slowly.

The different frequencies in my ears,
Are the sounds of my organs.
Confirming my existence,
But to whom.

The power of silence.

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Priceless (Nina.S 01.07.11)

A brush stroke creates a picture on canvass.
Decisions determines ones future,
However colourful one wants it to be.
Fake is worthless,
To be genuine is priceless just like an authentic painting.
Life is a piece of art in itself.....

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Tormented (Nina.S 18.05.11)

 You are mine,
You know you are don't you?
Emphatically sublime,
Can you feel it too?
To love you is divine,
There isn't anything to think things through.

For keeps,
Don't be going elsewhere.
I will weep,
If you decide to disappear.
It will be bleak,
I say please do fear.

Peer into my eyes,
Can you see how intense?
Glazed and want to cry,
My heart heavy and dense.
Pounding for life,
You are leaving I sense.

Don't go! Don't go I beg!
I cannot bare the pain.
You will truly regret,
Am sure to go insane.
This you should dread,
As I will make you pay.

Truly, madly, deeply,
It's just so blissful.
In love with you crazily,
So tasteful.
You do love me dearly?
It would be magical. 

Where are you going?
Did I say you could?
My blood is boiling,
My love!
Stay, you know you should.
Grabbing and holding,
I love you so much just look! 

Ignoring me is the worst,
You belong to me.
Everybody I will curse,
You will be on your knees.
Do you want to be in a hearse?
This is where you will be. 

Nobody can love you they way I can,
See it's not so terrible.
You will be cared for my man,
Oh! So much love how incredible.
You and me hand in hand,
No! Don't run!

So sacred...

This is not written from experience, so don't panic as I am definitely not a psycho!! 

Sunday, 17 April 2011

My Beloved Grandfather Whom I never got to Know



I was just a baby when my grandfather died.  However, I feel as though I know him very well and in touch spiritually, like a guardian angel to me. 

Ishwar Chitarkar was born at village Paddi Posi in Garh Shankar (Hoshiarpur Distt., Punjab) on 11th December 1910, the son of Dr. Bhagwan Singh Bedi, one of the most esteemed veterinary surgeon in India. He was orphaned at an early age and was brought up by his grandmother's sister Mrs Uttam Devi (childless). He was educated at Punjab University, India and at Mayo School of Arts, Lahore (now in Pakistan). While staying in Lahore, he became intimate friend of the famed artist Ustad M. Abdur Rehman Chughtai who, recognising in him the sparks of genius, was his guide and encouraged him to devote himself exclusively to arts. He felt himself much indebted to Chughtai whose art and personality he revered. Ishwar Chitarkar expressed his gratitude to Chughtai by dedicating his first collection of poems to him. Also S.G.Thakur Singh (Indian Academy Of Fine Arts, Amritsar - Punjab - India) highly praised his extraordinary talent and encouraged him.

Between 1934-1944, he taught in various high schools in Punjab. In 1944 he was appointed senior artist with Associated Advertising Agencies, Simla. In 1947 he joined the Directorate of Advertising & Visual Publicity, Ministry of Information & Broadcasting at Simla. In 1954 he was transferred to New Delhi. In December 1960 he resigned this post. In 1960 he reached a turning-point in his career which has never been satisfactorily explained; it may possibly have been due to the fact that his awareness of the crisis, now becoming acute, in the cultural and political life of India. In any case, in 1961 Ishwar Chitarkar moved to London. Prof. N.S.Tasneem in his book "Studies in Modern Punjabi Literature" (1980-Avishkar Parkashan) gives this plausible explanation : "In 1954 he was transferred to New Delhi where he again found himself in the turmoil of life and letters. He then realised that his ambition of adolescent days to absorb all the knowledge of the world and to see life in its entirety had too, in the meanwhile, grown up with him and could not be resisted any longer. At last he succumbed to the call of wander lust and the goadings of his inquisitive mind and sailed for the United Kingdom in 1961."

While living in London, he founded and edited a monthly magazine in Punjabi "SAVERA" and a weekly newspaper "DES PRADES", he became President of "Punjabi Writers Association-London", did paintings, wrote poems, and held exhibitions of his paintings. Various seminars, literary meetings and conferences were also held under his guidance. He was tutor and guide to many young writers of U.K (some quite well known now) in both literary and intellectual matters.

During his last 3 years he remained unemployed for long periods and suffered hardships due to serious health problems. On 2 December 1968, he died after a violent cerebral vascular accident at Tower Hill Underground Station in London a day earlier.

Tarun Bedi (My Favourite Uncle in the World

My favourite uncle in the world is an amazing artist.  

Take a look at his website:

Taruneshwar Singh Bedi best known as Tarun Bedi was born on December 9, 1944 in Satgarha, Punjab (India). He is the son of a well known Indian painter-poet late Ishwar Chitarkar (Ishwar Singh Bedi). Began to paint at the age of six. He studied Fine Arts at the Delhi Polytechnic (later called: College of Art, Delhi) in India. He was awarded many prizes for his artwork from the age of eight onwards.

Here are examples of some of my uncle's paintings:

A Family Unit (Nina.S 15.04.11)

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Untouchable (Nina.S 30.03.11)

A perfect human being,
Not visible to tarnished mortals.
Impossible to ruin,
Clear like crystal.

The mind is superior,
A repellent to ignorance.
Intellect eats away khafur's.
Kept at infinite distance.

Beautiful glowing aura,
Making people feel safe.
To get close is an honour,
Please remember my face.

As there is warmth around you,
There is no need to touch.
I have been hurt badly too,
Will you love me as much?

An abundance of kindness,
Unselfish and pure.
Why are you so untouchable?
I want to have you more.

My feelings were locked,
But now I just want to cry.
Will I feel better?
I know I would if you tried.

So tell me beautiful person,
How long are you here?
Do you want me to move on?
As I dread the despair.

Perfection (Nina.S 29.03.11)

The art of perfection,
Is like fitting two pieces of incorrect puzzles.
Try too hard and the shape will distort,
Just the way our world is.

Life has many flaws,
Why waste time trying to rectify it?
You will be filled with despair and disappointment.
Let things be and accept your path.

A mirror shattered into pieces,
Bad luck is not coming your way.
Focus on this and it will be inevitable.
Negativity is a magnet to dark forces.

Is this hell on earth?
Starvation, abuse, murders and wars.
There has never been peace.
To experience this it would be heaven.

Each and everyone of us has a purpose,
Be it good or bad we make choices.
How do we make bad decisions?
It is written in our fate already.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

The Art of Pain (Nina.S 12.03.11)

 My Body Splattered,
Pink, purple and blue shades.
Something like Mardi Gras,
Except not so joyous.
Nothing to celebrate,
Just solitude and silence.
A forceful blow to my eye,
Was a surprise.
Didn't see it coming,
Like a tiger attacking its prey.
Is it still in tact as it's numb?
Protruding like the new earth after a quake.
Squeezing my neck tight,
Desperate to take air.
Let go I say!
But my voice is mute.
Holding me firm,
But not in a loving way.
A fierce punch to my head,
Am I still alive?
Immense agony am sure to faint.
Amazingly am conscious,
Although sickened with pain.
When will you stop and feel remorse?

Hurling me to the floor,
Tears streaming down my face.
kicked in the ribs,
Like rubbish in the gutter.
Somebody help me.
Shaking and shivering from anguish.

The heavy weight of abuse,
Crushes me a little more each time.
Inihilated in every aspect of my life.
How did I become a non-person?
My self-worth shattered into a  thousand pieces.
Hopeless to repair.
Piercing words still haunt me,
Worthless, worthless, worthless!
"Words can never hurt me."
Derogatory names, profanity and insults,
Of course this hurts like a jagged knife in my heart.
Walking on eggshells is the norm.

Tomorrow is another day,
Don't care anymore.
Happy or not,
Am immune to misery.
Bruises are obvious,
But I am creative.

As time passes by,
Lower and lower as I sink,
And you finally break me.
I am no longer the child my parents knew.
My spirit has vanished.
No love for life or the will to live.

And you say you love me ...

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Life is Permeable (Nina.S 08.03.11)

 I can glide into your heart,
Listen to every note,
Pulsating through your body.

Sweep through your hair,
Like the black forest,
Abundant that I could lose myself.

From one corner of your lips to the other,
The journey is read like braille,
So elaborate to decifer.

Every word I cling onto,
The distance is too great,
Should I fall into the unknown.

Mesmerised by your hypnotic eyes,
As though I have been swallowed,
Am a spectator of your sight.

Dissolving into you to become one,
Waves of entwined confusion,
Creating a cocktail of emotions.

Belonging is bleak,
As the darkest of wilderness,
I thought you were mine.

Sunday, 27 February 2011

The Forgotten One (Nina.S 27.02.11)

Stunning blue skies,
Butterflies, birds and bees.
The sweet aroma,
Is this the garden of Eden?

The gentle kisses,
Upon the lips of love.
Hypnotic like gazes,
Could melt an iceberg.

It feels so warm,
With emotions running deep.
If only time could stand still,
Making it an eternal moment.

Cherishing each word.
Lingering thoughts of the future,
Conquering our existence.

Flooding with love,
That it hurt's so much.
Can't imagine letting go,
Don't want to drown.

So blissful and perfect, 
Beautifully magical as this is so right,
Nothing else matters,
This world seems so serene.

To be loved is all one asks,
Unconditional and divine.
So much happiness around me,
So why am I the forgotten one? 

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Blue...(Nina.S 20.02.11)

So still and tranquil
Peaceful to the neighbours,
Resting in the dark meadows.
The silence can be heard,
By those whose souls you caressed
Redolent musk following them.

A gentle mist appears,
From an unknown place,
Seeking for sanctuary in every nook.

A figure hovering above me,
Phlegmatic and blue,
Dew drops settling onto the rubbery skin,

Why are you there?
Facing upon me,
A chill diffuses through me.

This is me,
I am gazing at myself
No! How can this be?

Monday, 14 February 2011

Facing Death (Nina.S 13.02.11)

A Black Rose (Nina.S 14.02.11)

Dark, mysterious and beautiful,
The fine membrane like skin,
So velvety to the touch.
The scent is nostalgic,
Images flashing in my mind,
Are short memories of fondness.
The deep secrets that are within,
Gently wrapped by petals,
The musk escaping in the air.
Held together so delicately,
Protected by its thorns,
Don't be fooled by this Jackyl and Hyde.
The black rose invites you to its death,
A confetti of petals float away,
Just the way my spirit did.